A quiet couple of months here as I’ve been desk-bound trundling from one internship to the next, pining for overseas adventures. Yet adventure is often where one least expects it and, on a fateful Friday afternoon in the dark depths of the office basement, a white-haired man from IT whispered to me about an epic contest. It promised bloodshed, glory, and an abundance of mead — just a two-hour ride out of London, depending on traffic. He was, of course, referring to the International Medieval Jousting Tournament at Arundel Castle!
Accompanied by fellow history buff TJW, we embarked on our journey south conjuring images of valorous knights and the fair maidens we might woo. A Union Jack proudly atop the entrance got us off to a suitably patriotic start. We quickly toured the castle and its grounds before staking out a good position from which to view the main event. The setting was stunning, underpinned by Arundel’s equally impressive history. I could tell you all about the ingenuity of Norman fortifications or the castle’s significance during the English Civil War. The truth, however, is that we were here first and foremost to watch grown men with the athleticism of Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor saddle up and hurtle towards one another with unwieldy lances that could only be trying to compensate for their disappointing manhood. It was everything we had hoped for and more, with rock track walkouts that fans of A Knight’s Tale would have particularly appreciated.
But the cherry on top was participating in the “Kids vs Adults Battle”, loosely framed as a re-enactment of the Battle of Bosworth. Predictably placing the adults on the losing Yorkist side, I was determined not to allow historical accuracy — let alone self-respect — frustrate my dreams of total victory as I stared down the serried ranks of these battle-hardened twerps. It was a valiant effort but, just as had happened nearly 550 years ago, the Yorkists were annihilated. As I lay there being pummelled by four children with a lower combined age than me, I couldn’t help but wonder if Richard III had had the good sense to change out of his linen shirt before joining the fray. Thankfully it was from Uniqlo.
We made a quick stop at the gift shop on our way out to pick up some suitably embarrassing accessories for our friend, which he dutifully wore on his birthday pub crawl later that evening. A lovely jaunt to keep me ticking while I finish up this internship. Back to the financial models now.
